From: dollehon@dds.nl
Date: 09 Mar 2003 20:11 uur
Het volgende is van indymedia geplukt, maar leek me hier ook wel op z'n plaats.
Grts,
S.
am*dam squat scene rant
mutual aid - 09.03.2003 14:35
I could write about all the rocking things in the am*dam squat scene (and I
probably will for other spaces), but for here that won’t kick along a dialogue
or challenge the shit things within it - so instead I’m posting a rant. Sorry
it’s in english, not dutch.
Disclaima: I’ve only been here 6 months, and I don’t speak dutch, and I never
really felt welcome or comfortable in the squatting scene (for a variety of
reasons, the grumpy wall, people’s judgement, and the fact I identify as
queer ........ etc) so haven’t been to loads and loads of actions.
I have a strange reaction to thinking about squats in am*dam. On one hand I am
blown away by some of the spaces, the folk kitchens, the free shops, the
organisation, the solidarity, the resistance, the history, its amazing,
diverse, inspiring, radical, organised. But at once I am appalled at how
heterosexist and macho it is; judgemental, too tight and grumpy and
unwelcoming, how hegemonic the stoicism feels, how unaware of its own privilege
it seems to be (this is a general observation of the Netherlands in general,
with people not acknowledging the colonial history that has given this place
such riches).
My experiences have been hard to push through, grumpy drunken baby punks not
wanting to give me the time of day on squatting actions, discussions with
people who just really fucked me off with their rants (“friendship is a
northern luxury”), way too conformist and uniform for me to deal with, hella
macho and male dominated (even though there are some tough and inspiring chicks
around) and informal codes of membership (modes of talking, experience, proving
yourself, fashion etc), and worst; experiencing and observing arrogance and
racism at kraakspeekuurs.
I hated the feeling that there was a ‘membership’ based on authenticity and
validity, boundaries and a definite culture of exclusion. It pissed me off
endlessly, to be fighting borders on the one hand, then feeling like I had to
(im)patiently wait til I was accepted in to the squat scene before being “in”.
(of course this is also based on all my own perceptions and insecurities too
and there are genuine security concerns when it comes to trusting ‘new’
people...but...)
I feel like I should have pushed a bit harder and not let the attitudes and
things that shat me stop me from engaging more with this space. I admire the
people I know (mainly women) who seem to ignore the shit and get on with it, at
once resisting and creating different ways by virtue of the fact they are DOING
IT, but I couldn’t seem to get beyond feeling really fucked off with my
experiences (and those of friends) at the kraakspreekuurs and generally.
Some people have said “oh just ignore the bobos” or “oh him, yeah he’s a
wanker, no-one listens to his shit” – but this pisses me off too, it should be
everyone’s responsibility to pull up people that are being idiots and treating
people like shit; confront these kinds of attitudes and initiate more free and
open ways of living. All this fend-for-yourself crap is bullshit, aren’t people
in to mutual aid here?
Basically the single message I’d like to send to the squat ‘community’ (scene?)
in am*dam is that being radical doesn’t mean you have to be rude; and that to
my mind it is more revolutionary to be warm, friendly and compassionate than to
be rude, judgemental and standoffish. The prevailing attitudes and modes of
behaviour, around being tough, wearing the squat uniform etc are extremely
exclusive and the arrogance and coldness of some people is really really ugly
and disappointing in what is purportedly a radical space.
People would do well to remember the privilege that they have and stop with the
bullshit of building hierarchies of cool, experience, hardcore-ness and inner
circles of arrogance. It is possible to have tight secure communities without
being assholes. If the am*dam radical community was infused with a bit more
warmth I think that things would crank a lot more, ever more people would
become radicalised and engaged and the space would be more open to marginalised
groups.
By the way, I still think there is some fantastic stuff here: I just think that
the bullshit needs to be challenged more, hence writing and posting this :)
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